This is not the Paradise
by Arjenka
Summary: Donquixote Doflamingo has just received a den den mushi call from Trafalgar Law from Punk Hazard. He has one day to decide to leave behind his rank as the Warlord or to deal with angry Kaido, one of the four Emperors. He is furious, but to add to that, he ends up in front of an entire school, where are people with sick sweet smiles calling him their savior. Oh, how he hates kids.


**This is not the Paradise**

Summary: Donquixote Doflamingo has just received a den den mushi call from Trafalgar Law from Punk Hazard. He has one day to decide to leave behind his rank as the Warlord or to deal with angry Kaido, one of the four Emperors. He is furious, but to add to that, he ends up in front of an entire school, where are people with sick sweet smiles calling him their savior. Oh, how he hates kids. Challenge #85 from TheBlackSeaReaper

_Disclaimer for the story: I don't own One Piece nor Harry Potter._

This is gonna be a shot fic, with only three chapters. I am also aware that in canon Doffu is indeed Celestial Dragon, but I started to write it before the revelation.

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**Chapter 1 – How the mess started**

Five years old Harry Potter, or freak as he was called by all the occupants of this house, lied at floor of his cupboard, unable to move thanks to the beating he got from uncle Vernon minutes before. The boy silently wished that he could be anywhere else. He still held a last flicker of hope to know something else than pain and cruelty, to hear a single word of praise. Harry could faintly remember that long ago a snake man had come to his parents' house and had disappeared in green light. Ever since then his beloved mummy and daddy left him at night at the doorstep of uncle's and aunt's house. He didn't understand why all this happened and cried many days and nights for his parents or his sister that stayed with them, but they have never come. The only thing he received regularly was a list of chores and beatings. With the gloomy memories the boy sank into unconsciousness with the last thought echoing in his mind: 'I need to get out of here.'

Harry woke up to the humming of old woman. He blinked, confused. His aunt always dragged him from his cupboard early in the morning with screeching. The next thing he became aware of was a lack of pain. That hasn't happened for a very long time.

"Are you already awake, boy?" asked hoarse voice of the old hag. Harry flinched despite himself. When he couldn't fool the old woman any longer, he finally opened his eyes. "I see, there's someone who would like to meet you. Be grateful, brat, he took you here."

Harry slowly complied to the old woman's orders and followed her through backstreet to shabby looking hut, looking around unfamiliar part of a town. It certainly wasn't Little Whinging. Harry thought about what could happen. Could his relatives throw him out here? Nah, they wouldn't get rid of him, they would miss him for the chores and as a punching bag, he knew that much. Perhaps somebody took him out? That sounded too hopeful and his uncle did good job beating things like hope or fantasies and dreams out of him. Just before Harry was shoved inside to the hut, he let his speculation go, resolving to show all these strangers he could work. Now he is out of the hell hole, so he will grab any chance to become strong and he will survive by any means necessary.

Inside of the shack was dark and dirty. There was only one big room, where in the middle of it stood a man Harry has never seen before. He was an embodiment of everything his aunt Petunia despised with all his rugged clothes and he was reeking of alcohol. He began speaking to the newcomers: "Boy, your blood destroyed half of my batch of goods. But your unconscious body probably was the only thing that prevented Reeves taking all of it. In return I let you healed, but you are going to work off the damaged goods."

"Yes sir." Harry hesitated before he asked, after all at Dursleys questions weren't allowed, but he wanted to know what he got into. The worst thing that could happen would be beating, something he was accustomed to. "Ugh, sir, what was your stuff?"

The man raised an eyebrow in disbelieve, he was probably well known in the neighborhood. After a short silence he answered. "Opium."

Harry heard Aunt Petunia complain about useless druggies enough times to shiver with discomfort. He stared at the local drug dealer before he gave him a tiny nod. "What do you want me to do, sir?" Harry gulped. "What I need to learn?"

"Oh, don't worry, boy, and remember, you will learn or you will die." with the last sinister statement the man walked off, motioning Harry to follow him. The boy complied and so started a new future.

**Scene break**

Doflamingo, or Harry Potter as we know him, smirked at his reflection in the mirror as he run his hand through his newly bleached blonde hair. His favorite sunglasses sparkled with polish and he cracked wide grin. Today he would finally set sail from the Briss Kingdom. He was now eighteen years old and the stinking city lost its usefulness, or precisely said it would loose very soon.

"Is everything prepared, Vergo?"

His first and most loyal underling stood in attention. "The explosives will activate in an hour, Doflamingo-sama."

"Fufufufu," he laughed. "In that case it's time to pay a little visit to Reeves." If everything goes according to plan, Doflamingo will decimate entire drug cartel he worked under for more than decade, taking their money and possible a few new minions to start a new carrier as a pirate. Payback is sweet and he is no longer the weak boy he once was.

The flamboyant boy strolled casually right to the heart of the drug business. If there was lesson repeated time and time again, it was to never show fear. He grinned. Another lesson he held close was that smiling no matter what was very useful – it annoyed and crept his enemies rather successfully. His wit and carefully laid traps took care of the rest.

"Reeves and Curtis! I am so sorry to interrupt you." mocked Doflamingo the two men in the middle of business transaction.

They angrily leaped on their feet. "Doflamingo, what's the meaning of this?!"

"I came to tell you that I quit. Neither of you is my boss any longer. Now, as I gave you my sincerest good-byes, we can talk about business."

"There won't be any business. You are fool if you think that we let you go."

The blonde laughed. "But gentlemen, you don't have much choice. You aren't able to stop me. But as I said, I have an offer to you – last ten men who are able to survive and escape this building can join me." His grin grew even wider. "Refusal equals death. So, what do you say?"

"You'll regret this boy. Men, kill him!"

Doflamingo's grin didn't drop with group of nearly twenty men charging at him. The explosions should begin every moment – "Did you really think you can just stuff this building with dynamite without us noticing?" sneered at him his former boss. "Boys from streets should stay where they belong. It seems like our kindness grew over your head, Doflamingo – or should I say Harry?"

The boy with sunglasses finally dropped his grin and gestured widely with his arms. "I changed my mind. You won't be leaving." he snarled at the man. Barely noticeable strings sprung at the tip of his fingers and swept with great speed, cutting men around him.

"What? What is this?!" Now the local drug lord paled in fear.

"There's no need for such knowledge for little shit like you, you'll be slaughtered soon." True to his words, Doflamingo cut the man frozen with fear into pieces. With satisfied grin once again, he turned on his heel and stepped out of building, out to the sea, leaving his unwanted past behind.

**Scene break**

Doflamingo was walking through a city center when he received the wonderful news – invitation to join the ranks of Royal Warlords. Common citizens hastily fled from him as he cackled madly. This is going to help his business in the underworld. Perhaps he should expand to the slave trade, it would certainly ease the Celestial Dragons, especially after stunt he managed to pull on them, resulting into his nominating as Warlord and future king of Dressrosa kingdom. He grinned again as he recalled the discovery he made a year ago regarding the Void century, blackmail material at its finest.

The soon-to-be-privateer stopped swaggering and headed back to his ship, in his high spirit he even left without raising chaos and anarchy. He could do that legally later, he mused. To shatter perfect normality of ordinary people was always fun, after all, but now he had a few toys to make in both literal and figurative sense.

**Two years after the War of the Best, Dressrosa Island**

"Law. What a shame."

Donquixote Doflamingo ended his call with Vergo. He sat on his favorite chair in his palace in the heart of Dressrosa, previously reading through financial reports of selling weapons to various parties and ignoring attempts of Baby 5 to kill him because he annihilated another city in order to protect her from her seventh fiancée who she agreed to marry. Even his 'little sister' has her faults after all and Doflamingo won't allow such things as men she couldn't decline to distract her from him. Baby 5 probably thank him for looking out for her later. He grabbed a new drink a toy brought for him instead of the blown up one and sent Baby 5 and Buffalo to Punk Hazard.

His den den mushi ringed again. "Joker! This is Buffalo, calling from Punk Hazard. It appears as though Master Caesar has his ass handed to him and, literally, got blown off the island!"

"What was that? Retrieve his body at once! Bring him back to Dressrosa!"

'So Vergo failed.' thought Doflamingo and mangled a chess set before him in order to cool his temper. 'What unfortunate set of events. Vergo was very useful, it's pity to see him dead. I also need Caesar to produce SAD or it would ruin my business. Do I have to do everything alone?' Baby 5 and Buffalo won't be there soon enough. He gave the final order to Monet: "From here on out mistakes won't be tolerated. I'm sorry. Bring it all down with you … die for me!" and then Doflamingo run with the aid of clouds to Punk Hazard.

The warlord has never been so much furious in his whole life. After all the time he kept Law as his little brother to be betrayed in such way – the young man would surely pay with his own life and more, he will make sure of it, at least for the sake of his subordinates he was forced to sacrifice, especially Vergo. "Vergo … I'm sorry partner. You have been my longest tenured soldier. For all the dirt you've put in, up until now, you have my eternal thanks."

Doflamingo narrowed his eyes. Someone cut off his skypath. Then he noticed a raft with cut off heads of Baby 5 and Buffalo. "Young Master!" So Law did this too.

"Relax, no need to explain, you only did as you were told." He deflected the cut off heads of his underlings from attempts of taking their own lives.

Suddenly spoke the voice of the Surgeon of Death: "This is a surprise – the boss dragging his ass off his throne to come all the way out here."

"Law, it's been a while. You're a hard man to get a hold of."

"If it's Caesar you're looking for, then he's with us."

"Joker! Save me!" the scientist begged, choking on his own sobs.

"Where are Baby 5 and Buffalo's bodies?"

"Who knows, asking me such questions is futile. Let's get down to business."

Doflamingo covered his anger with laughter. "Fufufu." He will give his former little brother his last chance to settle thing without a fight. He practically raised the brat at the best of his abilities and without unnecessary abuse like he knew at Dursleys. It was indeed suitable payback. "Law … Law, I don't talk business with kids still in their diapers. Where are you? Don't fuck with me, boy."

Quiet chuckle came as answer. "Fuck with you? Your principle trading partner is Hundred Beast Kaido of the four Emperors, correct? He's the one you shouldn't fuck with." Doflamingo paled at the implied consequences. How dare he? "If he knew that you couldn't produce any more smile…" Law left his words hanging in the air. "Words just don't go through to the temperamental men like him. A war with him could get pretty ugly I suppose. He'd wipe the floor with you."

Doflamingo gritted his teeth in fury. "Hey, now you're taking your little joke too far, Law! What do you want in exchange for Caesar? What are your demands?"

"Step down from the Royal Warlord! All that you've worked to achieve in these past ten years, you shall throw it away and become a mundane pirate again. Although when that happens the admirals from the Marine Headquarters probably won't sit idly by any more. You have until tomorrow newspaper issue. If tomorrow's publication says you've withdrawn from your post as Royal Warlord I shall contact you again. If it says nothing of the sort there will be no further negotiations. Take care." Law hung up.

"Law, wait!" yelled Doflamingo. 'The brat!' seethed the warlord. His face twisted in fury and deep down he felt a twinge of hurt because of the betrayal. He quickly squashed it, now wasn't the time for it.

The bird man was met only with silence. As soon as his fists unclenched from fury, he turned the raft to Punk Hazard. He would reassemble Baby 5 and Buffalo and maybe he could catch Law still on the island. If he couldn't, he would had to think of a plan and quickly.

When he finally arrived to Punk Hazard Doflamingo found only few marines and his interrogation of the White Chaser turned pointless. Fucking marine, covering for the rogue warlord! Smoker was lucky the former navy admiral froze him. 'I don't have time for this.' thought Doflamingo. Kaido can't catch a word about what happened. Unfortunately, as soon as he broke from the ice with Haki, his world suddenly started spinning and spinning and ex-admiral Kuzan faded away. He landed in front of a hall filled with chattering children. Silence spread as they noticed him.

Doflamingo observed the chamber – it seemed he landed far away from Punk Hazard he was a moment ago. He's only managed to confirm he's the strongest being in the hall when an old man with blue twinkling eyes and purple dress with yellow stars announced: "Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the fourth champion of Hogwarts – Mr. Harry Potter!" The entire hall erupted into loud applause.


End file.
